Mind on a Palette

I see red sky


I see violet grass


The sands are blue


The seas are yellow


Hello


Look into my mind


See watermelon rind?


How are you?


Me... I'm blue


Trees are upside down


The sky is the ground


Half full Half empty


Is this what you see?


Pink deer


Orange chickens


White blood


The gun to my head


Always a dud...


I'm stuck in a surreal reality


Is this what you see?


Once in awhile


Upon a polka dotted crocodile


Jump in the river


Harden your liver


Lose your grasp


On that one last sliver


Wake to the Dragon


The awful fire


Embers of confusion


Crushing desire


The crusted mirror


The line divine


Your image a waste


A stranger in time


Make no sense


You'll seem dense


Read my lugubrious mind


See watermelon Rind??

Copyright © 1993 Chris Hewitt All rights reserved.

As much as I enjoy leaving things to interpretation I feel the need to explain this piece in at least a small way. I wrote it years ago when I was going through an extremely chaotic point in my life. So many feelings thoughts and emotions culminated to the point where on a regular basis I questioned my own sanity. It is amazing how a mental disorder can make you question every aspect of your life be it actual or figurative. There is no shame in being open and honest with who we are or what we feel we have been or been through. Weakness is not showing your ability to be forthright with who we are or what our struggles have been. Weakness is hiding behind a guise to appear as something you are not. Strength can be drawn from the deepest depths of our most sorrowful times. Hitting an actual bottom is all it seems. There are two choices at the bottom. We can give in to the forces that have brought us to that point or we can claw our way out. The journey is always arduous but in the end there are rewards even if small to fighting for your life in any situation. Cliche' as it sounds there is and always has been benefit to continuing forward no matter how painful the journey.  Life has a way of being dark, hollow and foreboding but there is and always has been beauty. Even if in the small moments. Those Moments do matter. They always have. Never give in to the demons that beg your last breathe to be a curse based on bitterness and regret. Let your last breath be a blessing and an homage to the strength power and wisdom you were able to garner from a life lived through strength and perseverance. Never could I guarantee a life of bliss to anyone but I can guarantee that there is beauty in it no matter how obscure. If you search yourself, your surroundings and rely on the people who really care for you... It can be found.

 This piece uses and odd yet descriptive form to show depression, addiction, solitude, chaos and confusion that completely render the mind to a near delusional unresponsive state that seems to draw you only deeper into a hell you feel you may never recover from. Each line has an ulterior meaning with more depth than the simple words from my grammatically challenged style and limit of talent portray. Thank you for checking it out and by all means.... Be true to yourself and the emotions that drive you or control you whatever the case may be. Even in solitude and anguish there is safe harbor in the ones that truly care for us and as unbelievable as it may be... There is always someone that cares... Somewhere.